Parenthood doesn’t just change your life…it transforms it. In an instant, everything shifts. It’s one of the most profound and blissfully intense transitions you’ll ever experience. And while it can be deeply meaningful, it can also feel incredibly hard! Not because you’re doing anything wrong. But because this new phase in your life is just hard!
In those early days, everything changes at once. You’re recovering from birth. Learning to feed this tiny new person. Running on almost no sleep. You’re not sure what time it is (or if you’ve had a sip of water today). You love your baby with every fiber of your being, and yet you might also feel like a stranger in your own body and mind.
That doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.
If you’re deep in that fog, here are five gentle reminders to lean on when the mental load of new parenthood felt like too much:
Lower the Bar: For everything. The house can wait. Meals can be takeout. Let go of any pressure to “bounce back.” The priority is recovery and bonding, not performance. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.
Protect Your Sleep (However You Can): Sleep deprivation is no joke. Nap even if it’s legitimately only 20 minutes. Trade shifts if you have a partner or support person. This is where a postpartum doula can be life-changing. Sleep is health!
Feed in a Way That Works for You: Breastfeeding, formula, pumping. There’s no right answer, only what supports your baby and your mental health. For me, feeding was the hardest part of early parenting. Eventually, I chose to exclusively formula feed, and it was the best decision for our family, and one that I’m extremely proud of. I’ll share more on that soon…but know this: you’re doing enough, no matter how you feed.
Don’t Forget Yourself: Eat something nourishing. Take a quick shower. Step outside by yourself for five minutes of air. These tiny acts of care rebuild you in the background; and your baby benefits when you’re supported, too.
Watch for Postpartum Mood Changes: It’s normal to feel emotional. But if the sadness, anxiety, or intrusive thoughts become too much, reach out. Don’t wait. There is support, and it does help. You deserve to feel good in this season, too!
Here’s what I want you to know: this phase doesn’t last forever. It feels like it will, but it won’t. With time, rest, and support, it gets easier. You’ll settle into yourself again. And one day soon, you’ll look back at how far you’ve come and feel nothing but pride. You’re already doing the hardest part: showing up, every single day, with love. And that’s more than enough.
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If you or someone you know is experiencing symptoms like persistent sadness, anxiety, or difficulty bonding with your baby, it’s important to seek help. Below are my go-to resources for maternal wellbeing that are ready to be your guide:
National Maternal Mental Health Hotline: Call or text 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262) for free, confidential support before, during, and after pregnancy. Counselors are available in English and Spanish, with interpreter services in 60 languages.
NorthShore Perinatal Depression Program Hotline: Call 1-866-364-MOMS (1-866-364-6667) for free, confidential support from licensed mental health professionals. This hotline is available 24/7 and serves families throughout Illinois.
